By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
