Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
