Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
