I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
