So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
