so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
