i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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