I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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