I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
