ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Randomize
