I just cut my nipple shaving
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Randomize
