Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
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In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Terrible idea I love it
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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