why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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