Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
