driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
