Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
