When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
