Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
