I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
