OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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