Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
