textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
