Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
