were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
