She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
