I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
