i think my mom watched the whole time
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
