i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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