She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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