everyone is single if you try hard enough
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I am naked and annoyed.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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