Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
