the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
