Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
