watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
