I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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