its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize
