Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
