You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
