I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
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i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
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There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
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