I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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