i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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