I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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