this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
