The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Randomize
