i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
