he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
no, he came in my armpit
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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