just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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