Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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