I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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