why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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