I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize