why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
