i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
