Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
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She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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