He asked to "fluff my boner.."
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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