I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
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