I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
