Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Randomize
