I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I fill condoms, not promises.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
