I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
