I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
