guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
