Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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