I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
