Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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