i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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