grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
