take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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