she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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