Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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