i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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