its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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