Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
